Martin ran around
the building screaming “I’ve proved Einstein wrong!” at the
top of his lungs.
Every head peeked
out of their office doors into the hall and saw Martin jumping up and down in
excitement yelling “I’ve proved Einstein wrong!” Everybody was wondering if he had
figured out why relativity and quantum mechanics equations don’t seem to
work out together or if he had found something that can travel faster than
light. Dr. Mutter bubbled out of
his room at these words and ran into Martin with all his excitement. He thought his frustrations would come
to an end right then and there. He
had been praying hard to god to give him the solution immediately. He could not sustain any longer. He had been feeling so depressed and
frustrated he had been cursing god and crying in his heart and letting out
salty tears.
Dr. Mutter hugged
and squeezed Martin hard as he ran into him almost making Martin fall
backwards. His voice ruptured out
of his insides, “What’s the solution? What’s the solution?
Pray thee, do tell fast.” Dr.
Mutter’s heart beat faster than the speed of thought almost as if he was
meeting the lost love of his life.
Speed of thought of course is faster since we can imagine a star 20
light years away in a minute where as light would take 20 years to describe it
to us.
Dr. Mutter
hollered to the peeking heads, “This boy has found the solution! He has
found the solution! Oh my, we will be the first to know the solution nobody
ever knew!”
“Dr. Mutter! The solution is that there is gravity between lovers and
the vibes they feel are gravitational waves! Einstein was wrong in saying that
‘Gravity certainly cannot be held responsible for people falling in
love’ and hereby, I declare I’ve proved Einstein wrong! We need to create an understanding of
the lovetime curvature due to love!
Quick! Start writing down the tensors! 'Love' is the integral of 'Like' with
respect to time, 'Love at first sight' is the Dirac-Delta function. This means that love at first sight will
cause the dimensions to curve similar to a blackhole causing lovetime to
curve!”
“Great, so these vibes obviously cause ripples that move faster than
light in lovetime. Can’t you
already feel love for your counterpart in a world so far away on the other side
of the universe from where light can’t reach you but you’ll never
know how fast these vibes move,” responded Dr. Mutter.
Although, Dr. Mutter found fascination in Martin’s theory, he quickly
found his tears back. He wanted to
hate god but now he couldn’t get himself to feel as sad as he did just a
few minutes before Martin’s outbreak. It was as if god had sent Martin to make
Dr. Mutter relax his intense depression due to not understanding why relativity
and quantum mechanics equations put together yielded infinities. Dr. Mutter felt tricked. God had tricked Dr. Mutter into hating
him with less intensity.
From that day on the theory that one can never determine how fast love
waves move since the understanding is beyond human ability became known as Dr.
Mutter’s Uncertainty Principle
in ScientificChess.
© 2006 Aditya Mittal. All
rights reserved.